To The Grave

Keeping a secret, while difficult, is not impossible. Secrets are small glimpses into another person’s soul; they happen because you were trusted by that person to help keep a piece of her or him unseen. It’s an act of trust between two or more people, and spilling the so called beans can essentially mean breaking that trust. Reality is harsh, but if you fail to keep a secret that is that big then you might has well have literally thrown your friend under the bus rather than figuratively. The key here is keep your lips sealed to the best of your ability.

As with anything, there are plenty of tips that can help keep a secret remain just that. Some of those tips include:

  • Putting yourself in his or her shoes. Think how you would feel if it was your secret being shared. You wouldn’t want to tell just anyone your secret, so you shouldn’t tell just anyone their secret.
  • Listen to them. Chances are they mentioned at least once that you “can’t tell anyone”. Anyone means anyone. Even if it is someone who doesn’t know them you still shouldn’t let their secret slip. Telling a person who doesn’t know the person is just as bad as telling someone who does know them. It’s a gateway slip, it will undoubtedly lead to future slips. So just don’t do it.
  • Secrets can be soul burdens. If you’re finding a mighty need to tell the secret just to ease the pressure of your soul write it down. Use code-names of course so that if someone happened across it all parties involved would still remain intact. Writing it down is similar to sharing the secret with someone without all the horrible backlash that could result in a loss of friends.
  • Know your limits. There are some people who just can’t keep secrets. If you are one of those people, speak up before the secret is spilled. That way if for some unfortunate reason you were to let it slip later on, then it will not be entirely your fault. You gave fair warning, and they still decided to share their secrets.
  • Understand the difference between secrets that should be kept and secrets that shouldn’t. Sometimes there are people out there who give you a secret that can be harmful: to themselves or to others. If you happen to come across such a secret you will have a lot to contemplate. First you will need to know who you can turn to with this secret, because harmful secrets aren’t always best left swept under the rug.

Those, of course, are just a few of the essential guidelines to follow. There is more to it than that, but knowing the basics helps to lay the groundwork for future tight lips.

~J. Spade

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Crying is an Art

Do movies, songs, or other forms of artistic expression easily make you cry? Tell us about a recent tear-jerking experience!

I am a sucker for heart-wrenching angst. Maybe my life is so cut and dry without any drama that I seek it out through forms of artistic expression, because there are moments when I find myself craving a good dramatic movie, book, or song. As for the crying part of this question, that’s a little bit more difficult to answer.

How can I answer that without sounding completely robotic?

Well, I guess the short answer is that I can’t, because no matter how I phrase this following aspect it is going to sound emotionless; maybe in a way that is true though.

I can honestly say that I have never cried because of a movie or a song. I’m more emotional when it comes to the written word, but I still do not cry because of it.

At an early age I told myself not to cry. Like many people who grew up with the demands of “stop crying” and the notions that “crying is weak” I have learned to suppress my emotions. Now, many years later, it has become quite the problem.

I have friends who are on a mission to find the movie or book to make me lose it. Small displays of emotions make me feel unbalanced. While I have learned to comfort people who need a shoulder to cry on, I still cannot let myself be that vulnerable. It’s quite the wall I have built around me, and I fear that the more I hold off my emotions the higher this wall becomes.

I have aspirations of one day crying during a movie, but I’m hoping it will be in the solitude of my living room and not in some packed movie theater.

~J. Spade

The End All, Be All

There are a hundred words that could be said and a thousand words that could be used at any given moment. Our life experiences combined with our personalities help to craft just how we will respond to arguments or jabs in any situation. People sometimes call it quick wit if you are able to spin words fast enough to leave your opponent dangling, but maybe there’s a bit of wit found in the silent type as well. After all, an argument is not always won by having the last word – but despite knowing that, it can be oh so enjoyable to have your words be the ones hanging in the air, left only for the wind to carry them off. Continue reading