A Kiss of Apology

I’ve been gone for awhile now
Lost in my mind
I’ve whispered secrets not allowed
Can you hear my cry?

It’s a shame you are no longer here
Did you know the time?
I fear the end has come, my dear
Let’s embrace our last flight.

~J. Spade

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Shame On Me

Laugh at me,
Just make me cry,
Do whatever you want,
But don’t tell me why.

Say that you hate me,
Tell me I’m worthless,
Just don’t say you’re sorry,
If you don’t really mean it.

~J. Spade

Apologies Are Not Necessary

It’s funny how I feel the need to justify my writing. I’m practically apologizing for being human and making mistakes anytime a person finds even the most minor of flaws within my creative works. Hell, I’d probably do the same thing here on my blog. It doesn’t really make sense. I should not feel the need to make excuses for something I put so much effort into, because the fact of the matter is the person is trying to help me. Have I mentioned that I’m terrible at accepting help?

Maybe I should rewind.

Recently, I gave my mom the first two chapters of a novel I wrote. This novel has gone through a series of edits, and I finally got to the point where I decided I was going to redo the entire thing. I gave my mother a copy of the renewed draft, so even though it’s way different than the previous one it is still rough. When I came over for dinner with my family, my mom asked if she could write on it. I don’t know why I took it so personally, but I began to feel bad that I had given someone something so unpolished. I shouldn’t feel bad. I’m sharing. She asked to see this, because she’s proud of me or whatever. I don’t need to make excuses. I know this. Yet I do it anyway.

It’s a side effect of me constantly thinking my writing is sub par. I need to break this habit, because I don’t need to be perfect. Comparing myself to others is not going to do me any good, because how boring would it be if everyone wrote the same.

This is where I make a point to start finding the beauty in my style and owning it. Because I’m never going to be anyone other than myself.

~ Johana Spade.

Hidden Whispers

This is just an old poem of mine that I’m still attached to. It remains unedited, but very dear to my heart.


 

The mystical flaw of leaving things all alone
Hides nothing but openness, like a budding rose.
There is nothing but petals, stems, and leaves,
So the only secrets created, are not meant to keep.

There is a definitive potion of absolute serenity,
When cautiously handling all things clandestine.
Just like an old sofa, with fabric of deepened red,
Doesn’t show the sodden stains of blood.

A secret can be exchanged between close friends.
It’s a confidentiality that is given with permission,
Like a gift wrapped with paper in shades of hued gold,
It has a purpose meant to bring people closer together.

The whispered words oft come in a soft sounding caress,
It’s the reason they can sometimes sound more than a little sad.
But a small child will only shed tears when he or she is unheeded,
So always share your closest words with those that are the best.

~J. Spade

No Excess

‘All good things come in moderation’
Is what you always say
But I’m not all that sure what it means
Or how to make you stay

You tell me I should keep my head up
And work for what I’ve got
But in my mind, I do all of that
Yet always miss my shot

The words you say can sound like advice
But I take them all with salt
Cause when I make all my dreams come true
Only I will be at fault

~Johana Spade

Introduction

Blogging is like the balm to the soul. It allows an individual a platform in which they can talk about the things they are passionate about, and it gives readers the opportunity to find others with interests similar to them. There is a community feel to blogging, a family in a way. It is a helpful tool to everyone, both writer and reader, that participates in a blogging forum.

Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?

I am an avid writer; from journaling or storytelling, I’ve tried it all. My 2014 New Year’s resolution consisted of journaling every day for a year, and I’ve kept that up so far, but as I was writing in my personal journal I found that I had things I wanted to share. There are so many opinions residing within me, and I felt that maybe someone else could gain positive insights through my personal experiences. I began my public blog in hopes that whatever I post, be it creative works or opinion pieces, will inspire someone in whatever avenue they so choose.

What topics do you think you’ll write about?

Since I do not have one hobby, I can already see that my blog will be quite the eclectic mesh. I will be writing reviews in regards to the books I read and shows/movies I watch. Certain posts might deal with strong opinions I have and would like to discuss. There will even be creative pieces that I simply want to share with people that get posted here. I’m not going to limit myself on my blog, because I don’t limit myself in my life.

Who would you love to connect with via your blog?

I want to connect with everyone. People from all different backgrounds, with varying interests. I want to see new things, hear their opinions about things, and just experience as much as I can. Since I do not have the money or the means to travel all over, one way to do it is through the experience of others. Maybe it will be the fuel I need to start a fire to my dreams of travel.

If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

There is nothing more that I hope to achieve through the success of having a year long blog than a feeling of personal growth. During this new adventure I hope to make new friends and learn new things. Perhaps I’ll even expand upon my hobbies. Since I have such a passion for writing, I am hoping that I will become even better at it during this journey. If there is one growth that sticks with me during this experience, I hope that it is confidence in my voice as an author and a blogger.

 

~Johana Spade