Knowing the Truth

We live in a world of self awareness, and that self awareness is brought forth because we assume to know our own self worth. In some cases that self worth might be more focused on the lack of, which really happen to be just lies we’ve spun to build up walls. After all, we know who we are or who we can be, and yet all we see are the flaws that take up the day to day. These flaws that we only perceive ourselves to have is because we are stuck in a loop of comparing our worst days to somebody else’s best. That is not fair to anyone.

We see our bare selves and we pick at it, and we see someone’s day-face and decide that we need to be like that all the time. It’s unhealthy, and it distorts your own view of your day-face.

I’m guilty of this, and we all are on some degree.

As a strong “love your body” advocate I feel like a hypocrite every time I look in the mirror. My mom used to tell me I was my own worst critic when it came to any of my creative works, but I don’t think she realized how much my critiques bled over into my daily psyche. Nothing I did or wore was ever good enough. While I’m getting better, those moments of self doubt still leave me bed-ridden and sad from time to time.

I find it ridiculous, all of it. Because I know I’m not really all that ugly or fat, but I still feel those things as many of us do. Why we feel the need to put feeling to these words that really are only descriptive I will never understand.

I wish it was easy to stand up and face down those societal molds and say things like, “Yes, my love handles might be a bit more prominent than what the media deems ‘normal’ but that’s not me, because it doesn’t show that I can paint and write and that helps make me who I am.”

Okay, so it’s a bit easier to say than I had originally accounted for, but I want to be able to say it and feel it with every fiber of my being. I want my words to ring just as true in my mind as they do in the air.

Our self awareness should just become awareness as we realize that all of us have day-faces that we hide behind. As I sit here with my top-knot of a bun, sweats, and spot-treatment mask of a face, I need to understand that this is not my ‘red-carpet’ look. Therefore, comparing this behind-the-scenes look to some A-Listers glammed up persona is not going to do anyone any good.

Except maybe the 1/2-gallon of peppermint ice-cream I bemoan my troubles to at the end of the day, but that’s beside the point. I’m also just using this moment as a shameless promotion for my favorite seasonal treat, because I am so happy it’s here.

Back on topic though.

The next time you see a picture of a celebrity all dolled up with thousands of dollars worth of makeup and clothes, just know that you’d look just as fantastic under the same pampering. Even if you can’t bring yourself to think that’s true, just knowing that someone out there would think you’re beautiful might be enough to do the trick.

And if that isn’t enough, then maybe the proof will lie within the meme.

~Johana Spade



11 thoughts on “Knowing the Truth

  1. Hey Spade, I don’t know how to say this. I don’t want you to think I’m using you or anything, I think this would be beneficial for the both of us and since we have “promoted” each other before and since we have a sense of familiarity with each other, I feel you are the best person to ask since I love your writing style. I know you’re probably busy with your own writing but I would like to ask. Spade…would you be my co-editor? Of course, this would go both ways.


    • Hi Guy. I’m really glad that you thought of me in this, and I would absolutely love to be your co-editor. I do get busy from time to time, but I’m sure I could rearrange my schedule when you need me to look at something with a critical eye. It would be great to work on this together, since we both have an appreciation of each other’s work.

      In summation, yes, we should definitely co-edit together.


      • Thank you for the co-operation!! Also, this is a two-way street. If you have something you want me to look at, then I’ll be happy to contribute my two cents.


      • You’re welcome, and I will definitely keep that in mind! At the moment, I’ve been simply dipping my pen into a few different stories trying to find which one calls to me most; but once I get the right fit you’ll be hearing from me a lot, I am sure.


      • How many words are you wanting to publish? If you want I could take a look at that story and see if it’s possible to cut down? Or I could look at that story, and then you could put it off to the side until you’re wanting to get it published.


      • That would be awesome. Honestly it’s not that good, I wrote it when I was just starting, been trying a while to rearrange it to make more concise. I’ll send you the draft later. Don’t pull any punches now!! This was an earlier piece so I don’t have much faith in it.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Could you give me your email? I want to send it via Writing Helper. I think that’s how we should send our correspondence.


      • Of course! My email is That’s a good idea; I’ve never used Writing Helper, so it will be interesting to see it in action.

        I’ll make sure my reviews are honest. I’ve taken a few writing courses that we had to provide concrit during and my teacher loved the ones I turned in, so I’ll just treat your stories like that.


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